On this episode of Teen Mother 2, we now have some identify changin’ enjoyable, a scarcity of shirts and a long-lost child daddy creepin’ again into the highlight.
So…principally, it’s enterprise as standard for a ‘Teen Mother’ episode!
We kick off the episode in Florida with Briana, who’s recent off her “You ARE the daddy” ambush of Luis in New York Metropolis. Now that she’s again house, she and Devoin take Nova to dinner to have fun (?) the dental surgical procedure she’s having the subsequent day.
Bri tells us that she and the remainder of the DeJesus Coven will probably be heading right down to Puerto Rico for trip quickly and, since Devoin has “stepped it up” these days, he might have simply earned himself a roundtrip coach ticket to The PR himself!
“Hey Nova, are you able to mortgage me a few of your tooth fairy cash? I’m tryin’ to get a brand new swimsuit to look high quality for the Puerto Rican honeys!”
Issues have to be fairly rattling depressing over on the TGI Friday’s that Devoin works at if he’s prepared to trip with the DeJesus crew simply to get a break from it. (Let’s all say a prayer to the Child Jesus God Leah that Roxanne doesn’t pack her trusty pink pumps for the journey…)
Briana makes an attempt to elucidate the anesthesia course of to Nova. As everyone knows, Briana is an professional in all issues anesthesia, being that she’s needed to bear it quite a few occasions to have numerous butts and boobs put in and faraway from her physique by Dr. Miami.
In fact, she explains the method to Nova by murdering the English language.
“You don’t really feel nothin’ with they take your teef out!” Bri says. (As she’s saying this, Devoin is nodding as if he concurs with Briana’s medical description of the anesthesia course of.)
Devoin can also be excited that he and Briana can be celebrating Nova’s birthday collectively for the primary time in 5 years.
The second Devoin realized that MTV just isn’t solely paying for his pizza but in addition his Puerto Rico trip…
“It must be very peaceable and really enjoyable!” Devoin says.
Peaceable? With this crew? Who knew Devoin had jokes!?
Over within the hollers of West Virginia, Leah is but once more hitting the girlseseses with a few of her good ‘ol motivational speakin’ information. Tonight’s matter is stressing the significance of a superb schooling—whether or not the faculties are nicely or not.
Leah asks the girlses why it’s necessary to get good grades. Aleeah, that wise-crackin’ little sassypants, comes proper again with what could also be the most effective ‘Teen Mother’ line since “Is Kyle Sluggish?”
Aleeah tells her mother that it’s essential that she will get good grades and goes to school… “so we don’t find yourself such as you!”
That comment significantly burns more durable than all of Kieffer’s meth pipes rolled into one!
“However Mama, ain’t you making tons of of hundreds of dollars since you obtained knocked up as an alternative of goin’ to the school?”
Leah tells her girlseses that they should be accountable and make sensible selections (which is principally code for “Don’t let each Corey Tyler who tells you that you’ve a purty face put his beaver into your dam!”)
Leah tells the girleses that she made dangerous selections however is blessed to have them and that she has discovered so much and…another stuff however I, just like the girlseses, are likely to tune Leah out when she goes off on her speakin’s.
Later that night time, Leah goes on a date night time with Jason. Over a plate of some type of fried vegetable product, Leah tells Jason that the girlses’ report playing cards are popping out and that she’s preserving an eye fixed out for something lower than a B as a result of she doesn’t “play with C’s.” (She has been recognized to play with D’s…or two, although…)
“These girlseses know I’m not afraid to cover the butter tub, Lunchables and sugar packets if mandatory!”
“You’ll be able to’t make them do their work,” Jason tells Leah.
Subsequent we verify in with Kail, who’s fortunately filming as Lincoln and Isaac kick youngsters at karate class. (She’s in all probability additionally filming to recollect these strikes to make use of on Javi ought to he discover himself as her “Least Favourite Child Daddy” once more.)
“Isn’t there some kind of karate transfer I can study to kick all three child daddies directly?!”
Earlier than this week, Jo was holding tight to that title, resulting from his submitting for baby help towards Kail. Nevertheless, Javi is now again within the operating to be the most-hated as a result of he listed himself and his Insta-Child-Mama Lauren as factors of contact for Lincoln’s soccer workforce however didn’t put Kail down as Lincoln’s different mum or dad. (For my part, Javi ought to put on a helmet and a cup for the subsequent few weeks…simply to be protected.)
Kail says she’s effective with Lauren being included within the workforce contacts, however provided that the coach agrees to retailer her quantity underneath “Aspect Chick That Acquired Knocked Up By Lincoln’s Dad.”
“That child shot out of my gentleman gobbler! I deserve the title of ‘Mother!””
Subsequent, we head to South Dakota, the place Chelsea is explaining the idea of a Mother-ster Mash Dance to her personal mother, South Dee-ko-tah Mary. Chelsea will probably be attending a Halloween dance with Aubree that’s only for youngsters and their mothers.
“So ya gown up in costumes?!” Mary asks excitedly. (Don’t ya know?)
Aubree can be dressing up as JoJo Siwa (the woman from Dance Mothers with the grating voice, big bow and even greater checking account).
“That is as massive as my bow is gonna get, OK?!”
Whereas the 2 of them will probably be off having fun with an evening of low cost punch and Kidz-Bop tunes, Cole shall be left to observe Watson and Layne.
Chelsea tells her mother she’s frightened as a result of Cole will get anxious when the youngsters are upset as a result of he cares an excessive amount of. Chelsea is happy to get some one-on-one time with Aubree, because it’s restricted now that there are two different youngsters within the household.
“Ya actually do have your palms full…(don’t ya know!?)” South-Dee-Kotah Mary says.
Subsequent, we verify in with Jenelle who has recovered from her “emergency sinus surgical procedure,” however continues to be holding robust to that different an infection in her life, her husband Lurch.
Whereas driving within the automotive collectively, Jenelle and Barbara speak about one of many different excellent residents that Jenelle has chosen to mate with– Jace’s dad Andrew. He has abruptly gained curiosity in Jace’s life/cashing these MTV checks. Barb goes to HIGH! HIGH! tail herself to “New Yaaaahk” to satisfy with Andrew in a couple of days.
Jenelle worries about Andrew, as a result of she doesn’t really feel that he’s secure sufficient to be in Jace’s life.
Um…actually not one in every of you clowns is secure sufficient to even run your personal lives, not to mention a toddler’s, but right here we’re…
Barbara says that Ol’ Andy has been texting her within the wee hours of the night time randomly.
“After some time, all of them come crawlin’ again to Babs, I tells ya! The younger bucks love me!”
Jenelle tells her mother a few meltdown Jace had lately on The Land, which she claims was sparked by his jealously over Kaiser having one other household to go to, and never by the truth that Jace needed to spend 48 hours on The Land with Lurch and Firm, watching Lurch groom his facial hair.
Again on the DeJesus Dungeon, Briana’s not often seen producer, Alexis, asks her how her new boo John will really feel about her previous boo/child daddy #1 having a “la-dee-dah time” together with her in Puerto Rico with out him. Briana tells Producer Alexis that John is cool together with her in depth child daddy state of affairs.
“He is aware of it’s bizarre,” Briana stated.
“Is it although?” Producer Alexis asks. (I imply, this IS ‘Teen Mother.’ This feels like enterprise as regular to me, truthfully.)
In an effort to make the entire state of affairs appear extra legit, Briana says she’s interested by altering Nova’s final identify to Devoin’s final identify. She feels dangerous as a result of she gave Stella crappy Luis’ final identify, however disadvantaged Devoin of getting a namesaked offspring.
“Perhaps you must simply wait till you get knocked up by the subsequent rando and you may give all the youngsters his final identify? Simply to make it simpler?”
Briana says she looks like she and Devoin have each grown up and may put their variations apart for Nova now.
Again in The WV, it’s report card day for Leah’s girlses and to her delight, nobody receives a C. Leah calls Corey to inform him the excellent news that neither of the twins take after their mother and father on the subject of “the learnin’ and such.”
Leah additionally calls Jeremy to inform him that Addie obtained all S’s on her report card. Jeremy has no clue what an “S” stands for, however as soon as he hears it means “Passable” and never “She Don’t Do Good,” he’s happy with the information.
“I assume I gained’t be needing this to vary my grades, Aunt Becky-style!”
“I’m very pleased with you guyseses’ grades!” Leah– who was clearly schooled within the unwell faculties–declares.
Over on the DeBoer home, it’s the night time of the Momster Mash dance and Chelsea is dressed as a sweaty bat. (Certainly the thought of that has Cole all labored up, so don’t be stunned if there’s some Child DeBoer makin’ occurring post-dance!)
“You assume I’m sweaty now, simply you wait till tonight, child muffins!”
Chelsea is panicking about Cole holding down the fort whereas she’s gone for an entire two hours.
Two seconds after Chelsea and Aubree depart the home, Watson and Layne each have a meltdown whereas Cole makes an attempt to take care of his sanity/earn that “Dad AF” sweater he’s been eyeing.
Watson’s response to seeing his mother in one thing aside from a “Mama Bear” sweatshirt…
Talking of not holding it collectively, Jenelle has all of her/Lurch’s youngsters (those they’re legally allowed to spend time with, that’s) for the weekend so she decides to take them to do one thing enjoyable—-AKA something that isn’t close to Lurch or The Land.
In the course of the automotive experience, Jenelle makes an attempt to make small speak with Jace and we don’t know what’s more durable to observe: Jenelle pretending to be occupied with Jace’s soccer group or her refusing to place her telephone down whereas she’s driving.
“Uhh, yeah… that’s cool. Simply let me end this tweet and we will speak about your basketball group or no matter, Jason.”
Up in New York, we examine in with Andrew the “former mannequin” and his good friend Luch—to not be confused with Lurch—who have to be some kind of magician as he’s levitating a hat on his head all through the complete scene.
What within the recent hell is occurring right here?
Andrew tells Luch that he has not seen Jace since he Skyped with him on-camera like seven years in the past. Magical.
He additionally looks like he missed out on Jace’s life (um…as a result of he has) and that he thinks about him every single day… particularly on the times when lease is due and that MTV cash would come in useful. Luch tells Andrew it’s not too late to be in Jace’s life/bounce onboard the MTV practice. Andrew says if he and Jace have been collectively, they might “tear up” the city.
“Man, you recognize my son can get us into the perfect golf equipment with all of this MTV cash he’s making!”
So…does Andrew understand how previous his son truly is?! Why do I get the sensation that Andy thinks that Jace and him shall be out creepy-cruising bars for women celebrating their 21st birthday in a yr or two?
In his protection, it needs to be arduous maintaining monitor of time if you’re all the time on set doing photoshoots for early 2000s clothes and cellphone equipment for males over the age of 50.
So good of the modeling company to spring for the belt clip on Andrew’s telephone.
Andrew says that he imagines Jace is rather like him.
“Like father like son,” Andrew says, earlier than randomly including, “As a result of…you already KNOW!”
Andrew tells his pal that Jenelle has been holding Jace away from him, in addition to all the “good affect” he might have in his life.
“Good influences? Man, please inform me your loopy ass isn’t speaking about your self proper now.”
Andrew and Luch proceed to only make bizarre sounds forwards and backwards for some time, till Andrew says he hopes Barbara has modified and is good to him now.
Again in Delaware, Kail is telling Isaac and Lincoln how bizarre it’s that she has had all boys, and that Javi and Lauren are additionally having a boy. She tells the youngsters that she is aware of a lady who has six boys and one woman.
“What if that occurs to you?” Isaac– who clearly is aware of that fertility runs excessive on this present– asks his mother.
“What in the event you’re getting a woman proper now?” Isaac asks. (Properly…I don’t see Chris making an attempt to play “Bone and Sprint” with Kail once more, in order that’s in all probability not occurring, buddy.)
“Wait…lemme get Chris on speakerphone and you then say that once more, OK?”
Kail makes an attempt to elucidate how the method of creating a lovechild works.
“When you have got a child it’s a must to….um…” she says, realizing that she’s unsure methods to clarify the hump-and-dump course of.
“You must do…sure issues…to have a child,” Kail tells Isaac.
“You do?” he asks. “Like what?”
Kail is clearly not prepared to elucidate the entire means of child making to the youngsters. (Maybe she will make like Dr. Drew and simply direct him to itsyoursexlife.com?)
We subsequent swing over to Javi’s home, the place he tells Lauren that Kail flipped out when she came upon she wasn’t on Lincoln’s emergency contact type and Lauren was.
“It’s not your duty to cater to her emotions,” Lauren says.
“FACTS,” Javi replies. (Why does Javi all the time speak like he’s studying the caption of an Instagram meme?)
“Hashtag lame. Hashtag child mama drama. Hashtag don’t harm me.”
Javi says all their drama must “be squashed” and that he doesn’t have time for this pettiness, now that he’s about to open his Crossfitting Empire. He plans to take over the health world, one health club (and burpee) at a rattling time. In fact, the fitness center opening might be intertwined with the delivery of the child.
“There’s no purpose to attend!” Lauren says. “Time isn’t going to decelerate!”
I imply…it has been almost seven months. How a lot slower can they take this relationship!?
Later, Kail is taking Lincoln to his soccer recreation, which Javi has knowledgeable her he gained’t be attending as a result of a city corridor assembly for his new health club. Kail decides to name her good friend Lindsay that night time to vent about Javi lacking a apply proper after he yelled at her for lacking a recreation.
Kail tells Lindsay he additionally had the nerve to ship her a hyperlink to purchase considered one of his health club t-shirts in case she “needed to help” his enterprise. At this level, Kail seems to be like she may contemplate shopping for a pair simply to strangle him with.
“No decide would convict me!”
Again in Florida, it’s the morning of Nova’s dental surgical procedure and somebody has mistakenly woken up Brittany earlier than midday to babysit Stella. Brittany– who emerges from no matter closet she’s pressured to sleep in as a result of area constants within the household house– is blurry-eyed and sporting nothing however a sports activities bra, sweats and her signature scowl.
Briana– additionally in a sports activities bra (significantly, did they’ve a sale on Fruit of the Loom up on the Wal-mart or…?) yells at Brittany for not eager to go to the hospital together with her.
“Maintain this mess up and I’m shifting out… of the lounge and into an precise bed room.”
Stella tries to high-tail it out the entrance door (in all probability to buy some kind of athletic bra to put on to match her household), however is snagged by Roxanne on the final minute.
In North Carolina, Jenelle decides to take the youngsters to a trampoline park together with considered one of her paid pals and stated good friend’s assortment of youngsters. Jenelle tells her “pal” that Andrew weaseled himself again on digital camera this season by messaging the ‘Teen Mother 2’ director in an effort to get in touch with Jenelle or Barb. (As The Ashley advised you again in August, this isn’t truly true. It was the producers who contacted Andrew as a way to create a narrative line for Jenelle.)
Jenelle’s “good friend” tells her that Andrew being out and in of Jace’s life may have a unfavorable impression on him, so evidently this “pal” has by no means seen an episode of this present.
“So that you stated they minimize the ‘pal’ checks twice every week then?”
Jenelle says she doesn’t need Jace’s expectations to be too excessive, utterly overlooking the truth that this child has zero expectations of anybody at this level, thanks largely (if not solely) to her.
Again in Orlando, Nova has come by way of simply effective from her dental surgical procedure, and Devoin was there to help her, which is good. We get to see Nova a bit HIGH! HIGH! on anesthesia (which certainly made Devoin reminisce to his days of smokin’ THE WEED.)
Quickly, Briana, Devoin, Nova and Roxanne head residence like one huge comfortable household. Bri reminds us what an enormous piece of rotting flesh Luis is, and says that she’s impressed with how a lot Devoin has modified.
As soon as they get again to The Condominium, Briana units up store in Brittany’s favourite sofa indention and tells Devoin about her plans to vary Nova’s final identify. Devoin tells her it’s “fairly cool” and regardless of it “being a course of” he’s on board. (#TaxWriteOff)
Briana and Devoin plan to inform Nova about her new identify as soon as they get to Puerto Rico.
“That is nice! I can’t wait to share a checking account, I imply final identify with Nova!”
To learn The Ashley’s different ‘Teem Mother 2’ recaps, click on right here!
Andrew Lewis, Barbara Evans, Briana DeJesus, Brittany DeJesus, Chelsea Houska, Cole DeBoer, David Eason, Devoin Austin, Dr. Drew Pinsky, Jason Jordan, Javi Marroquin, Jenelle Evans, Kail Lowry, Lauren Comeau, Leah Messer, Roxanne DeJesus, Teen Mother 2, Teen Mother 2 Recaps